I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
