I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
