i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
