thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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