I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize