When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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