How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
