I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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