Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
