so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
