I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
