He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
