Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
