mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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