i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
BRING THE BAGELS
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
