Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
