Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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