More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
it's like iHOP with fire
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
