She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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