and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
