It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize