recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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