Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
