Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
All I want is dick and wine.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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