I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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