google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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