At least make sure they are 18
Why
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
