I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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