I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
