I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
All I want is dick and wine.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
