i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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