You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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