Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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