Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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