never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize