***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
