East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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