PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
