I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
