The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
