the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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