Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize