Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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