There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Oh god it's open bar.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
