If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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