On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
