The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
