The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
