his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize