I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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