Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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