She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
they're like a gay fantastic four
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
