yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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