i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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