When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
