That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
