mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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