I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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