you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My balls are so social today.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
