you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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