just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
