he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The uberlube is also flammable
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
