everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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