i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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