I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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