rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
