Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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