the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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