Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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